PARENTING

Parenting is not a noun but a verb an ongoing process instead of an accomplishment and that no matter how many years you put into the job the learning curve is well,fairly,flat.

what its like to be a parent ?
"Its one of the hardest things you 'll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love."

Types of Parents

Authoritarian style

Parents are like the police officer or judge. They control the problem-solving process, and tend to be loud and angry. Children obey their parents out of fear.

Permissive Style

Permissive parents use different ways to persuade children to cooperate. The underlying belief is that kids will cooperate when they understand that cooperation is the right thing to do.

Democratic Style

The Democratic approach is a win-win method which combines firmness with respect. It accomplishes all of our basic training goals.

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Parenting Teenagers

Conflict

Ignore small or trivial issues and concentrate on resolving the more important ones
After an argument, think about what started it. What would you do differently if it happens again?
Pick a good time to talk to your teenager – when everyone is able to listen.
Be consistent with your decisions.
Ensure both parents present a united front. You may not agree, but you don’t have to say so in front of your teenager! Otherwise you add to the confusion and give your teenager an opportunity to manipulate the situation

Communication

Good communication builds good relationships.
Keep the lines of communication open at all times.
Listen to your teenager and try not to interrupt.
Remember we all communicate through body language a smile can go a long way.
Keep calm - when things get heated the message does not get through.
Talking is good for everyone.
Facial Expression 55%
Tone of Voice 38%
Words 7%

Rules and Boundaries

Rules should be negotiated, understood and agreed.
There needs to be some ‘give and take’.
Few rules work better.
Praise when rules are kept.
Be clear about the consequences of breaking rules.
Consequences should be fair and realistic.

Teenage Worries

Rules should be negotiated, understood and agreed.
Don’t be over critical.
Avoid making jokes at your teenager’s expense, even if it’s meant in a light-hearted way.
Help your teenager to feel good about him or herself.
Recognise that it is normal for your teenager to want acceptance.
If you know your teenager is worried, spend time with him or her and try to sort things out.

Risky Behaviour

Discuss what type of behaviour is not acceptable be clear and consistent.
Talk about the dangers of risky behaviour with your teenager - keep it factual and try not to lecture!
Help your teenager to face up to and be responsible for their actions. Make it clear that you are there to support them.
Encourage them to talk about what they are doing and why. If they don’t want to talk to you – try to get them to talk to someone else.
No matter how tough it gets, stick by your teenager and keep talking.
If you know your teenager is worried, spend time with him or her and try to sort things out.

Friends

Get to know your teenager’s friends.
Think before you criticise friends.
Talk about peer pressure
Help your teenager to say ‘no
Avoid making quick judgements
Give your teenager space with their friends, but make sure they are safe.

Skills and Potential

Have realistic expectations of your teenager’s ability.
Recognise that teenagers are different and make allowances for this – never compare your teenager to their peers or siblings.
Support your teenager in considering their options – make sure they have as much information as possible.
Keep yourself up to date about careers
look up information or talk to people about their work experiences.
If you know your teenager is worried, spend time with him or her and try to sort things out.

Letting Go

Give teenagers greater control and responsibility over their lives as they get older.
Help teenagers to make safe and sensible decisions about how they live their lives.
Teenagers need to make their own decisions and, if necessary, their own mistakes.
Make changes gradually, so that, when the time comes for your teenager to leave home, it will not feel like too much of a loss, for you or your teenager.
look up information or talk to people about their work experiences.
If you know your teenager is worried, spend time with him or her and try to sort things out.